so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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