She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
