Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
NoShamevember. You game?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
