you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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