I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
