Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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