and you said cock pushups were impossible
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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