You don't have asthma, your pregnant
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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