Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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