what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
