You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
