your room smells of hookers.
And success
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
