You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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