I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
