Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
