He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I need water and some morals
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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