Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
