If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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