Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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