wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
