Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dicks are not precious.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
