tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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