She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I will pee on everything he values.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
