how can u be prego again
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
