another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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