Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
