Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
