yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize