She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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