Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize