is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize