im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize