Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
