Having a random hookup so left but love u
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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