Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ladies don't puke and tell
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
