I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
All I want is dick and wine.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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