roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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