You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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