Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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