maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
