My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
