I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This is not my ceiling
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
