Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
