I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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