No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize