What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
