Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
