he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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