You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize