We're facebook friends in real life
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
