I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
