no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You're like the curious george of whores
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
