I cannot find my penis.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
