did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
