If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
