boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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