party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
