i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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