i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
