Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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