Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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